Well if we were a public body then I would be forced to put out an inane and grovelling appologing for the lateness of this posting, and the quality of its content. But we’re not.

However I have spent much of this morning on the dog and bone to Angie, the German Chancellor, trying to arrange one of those loans where you only have to pay back a small proportion of what you owe. As a means of reducing my overdraft, and credit card bills I thought it would be a sound strategy to approach the exceptionally generous Germans for a few free euros.  Much to my horror the old bird started to babble on about collateral and credit ratings, ability to repay, and many other criteria that I thought would simply not apply.

I explained that I bank with a spanish bank, and that any bailout to me could simply be considered as an advance on the bail out that the rest of the nation would surely be begging for soon. Then there was more banging on about collateral, and I felt I was not going to get a word in, but eventually she choked on a piece of sausage and I jumped in. I explained that we are a long established cycling club, that our honoury president is Sir Jimmy Saville (RIP), and that our splendid shirt that resides in the Rose and Crown could be offered as security. When she asked “who is zis Jimmy Deville” I slammed the phone down in disgust. 

 It seems to me that we live in strange times when a gipsi gets free handouts and the worlds grafters get nothing. Well take back your wheezing VW beetle that we’ve been burdoned with for over half a century, the velos can do without you.

Here’s this weeks ride, you’ll be glad it bypasses Germany.

Long Route

Non Existant short Route.

The weather is mild with no wind, perfect cycling weather so grab your bike and make your way to the Rose and Crown for another mystery tea ride. See you there!

Get ready for summer and get the wardrobe fitted out with the latest in cycling mankinis and ultra tight tops, whilst treating your bike to a new set of super fast tyres; to help with this the mighty Vinghoe Velos have recently set up ties with the

Both the Road Room and Mountain Mania will offer ‘members’ of the Vinghoe Velos 10% discount on accessories and be delighted to talk about the best price for a new bike simply by you telling them you ride with the Velos.  It is possible that in time a discount card will be coming and news on this will follow if that is the case.  We are also discussing with them the thought of a new jersey with the thought being a long sleeve full length zipped top and everyone’s input on this would be appreciated along with some idea of the level of interest in a new jersey.  It is hoped that the Road Room will help drive out better prices for the new Jersey.

Jerseys

We continue to receive requests for our original Jerseys from old and new members alike and require a minimum number to go ahead.  If we can muster a minimum of 5 orders (with Cheques for £38 per jersey made out to A Hetherington and left in an envelope in the pub along with your name and sizes required) I will progress an order, but will not cash cheques until an order is placed!  Sizing is best done by discussing with and trying on other members Jerseys.

This weekends rides, please see yesterday’s post for details of the tea ride leaving at 10 today from the Rose and Crown.

Sundays rides

Meeting, as usual at 0950 at the Rose and Crown

Long Ride

Shorter Route

In signing off I unashamedly ask for your support in helping Jose and I raise much needed funds for 

by sponsoring us through the link above

In anticipation many many thanks

Andrew

11 out last week, good ride, good company, good tea and cake. Tomorrow we may go to a tea room near a wool shop, so anyone wishing to pop in and buy a ball of wool, don’t forget to bring some extra pennies or you might not have enough for cake too.

All welcome.
See you tomorrow

Sally

We had a lovely ride up to the tea room at Wing last week, although very windy on the way home. Well earned refreshments were enjoyed by all:

Tomorrow the weather looks dry with very little wind, perfect for cycling. Look forward to seeing you all outside the Rose and Crown at 10 am.

Sally

Here at Velo central I like to think we provide a valuable service to our members and the local community as a whole. However we do on occasions get some strange emails and requests for assistance. Many seem to originate in Thailand and appear to compliment us on our insightful posts and knowledge, although they are invariably poorly disguised attempts to sell Viagra. I am not aware of any link between saddle fatigue and the need for such drugs, however you may have noticed my absence from recent rides.

More significantly, I have recently received a request from a local organisation to plug their up and coming summer festival. Yes those friendly bearded chaps from the Ivinghoe Entertainments Committee have requested some assistance from me. They have failed to offer me any inducement whatsoever, and so I have naturally declined their request.

 Alas they are a persistent bunch. If like me you thought that the big white tent on the lawn in June, was an over engineered scout project, then you are wrong. No, I am told this is an entertainments facility. On the Friday evening a bar is provided by our splendid friends at the Rose and Crown, and a fine multi course meal is delivered to your table. Immediately after the food, the men in the tent perform the ancient ritual of the chicken dance to an excellent live band, The Choice. The ladies wisely remain at their tables, dressed in their finest clothes, clothes that say to their menfolk  “if you could dance you wouldn’t just be looking at me.

 This event for some reason is known as the ball, though how quite how Beckham and his ilk could kick it I do not know.

 On a Saturday evening a bar is provided by our splendid friends at the Rose and Crown. I told them to stop repeating themselves, but they went to explain that a comedy evening was to follow, and be hosted by non other than Arthur Smith. Not that one down the road from you either, the actual one.

 Now I listened patiently to all of this, but again re-affirmed that I would not allow the Vinghoe Veloes website to be used in this shameless manner. But would they stop, no they continued on like a Jehovah’s witness in your living room.

Having failed to have ignited my interest they then tried to pull on my heart strings. Fools! They explained that the committee provides entertainment for the benefit of the villages and makes no profit. Now surely it’s bad enough to be a bad manager, but madness to admit it. Now I don’t do sympathy too well, but I did suggested that they look at some of our earlier posts where they would find some sound financial advice. Did this deter them? No they then went on to say that when they make a surplus they give it away to local charities that make a contribution to the village!

 Anyway, to cut to the chase, they tell me that tickets go on sale 3rd March 2012, 9.30-12.30, at Ivinghoe town hall, and other venues through out the village thereafter. If you buy tickets for both nights then you get a discount on the second night. You start to see how they don’t make a profit.

I told them that I couldn’t possibly advise members of the Vinghoe Velos, and their friends, that tickets for these fantastic events would be on sale from 3^rd MARCH 2012, in the town hall. We are after all a cycling club, and in that vein I shall now continue.

Long Route

Short Route

Here’s this weeks rides.

The weather forecast for tomorrow looks favourable – 3 degrees, dry and hopefully no snow or ice. So why not wrap up warm and stretch those legs.

Long Route – 24 miles

Short Route – 14 miles

See you outside the Rose & Crown at 9:50am.

It’s looking much warmer than last week, so pump those tyres up and come out. 10 am at the Rose and Crown as usual. See you all there. New riders always welcome.

It was impressive to see two tea riders braving last Saturday’s icy conditions:

Reluctantly no ride this week as the Met Office suggest that the roads will be very icy tomorrow and have issued a yellow warning. Those of you with mountain bikes and nerves of steel may choose to go out any way, have fun and keep safe if you do. Hopefully normal service will resume next week.

Sally

Some of you may have noticed how over the last week or so the weather has changed. If you have not ventured out then your newspaper will have informed you of little else. Those of a Daily Mail persuasion will have welcomed the break from abusing immigrants and the campaign to hang our fellow Europeans over the colour of bananas or some other obscure regulations. The rest of us will have trudged our way through snow and ice to work and schools.

This cold weather is enjoyable for many, but we should not forget our older colleagues who will be struggling to attach their three bar electric fire to their handlebars and wondering where their going to find a long enough extension lead to plug into. Of course as the temperature drops below a predetermined level those friendly chaps at the treasury dip into their pockets and authorise a little bit more cash to help those hard pressed with their heating bills.

So what do the Vinghoe Velos do? Well unusually the title to this week’s news gives a clue. As the government introduces the additional payments we switch to the Vinghoe Velos calibration system. As temperature seems to be the hot topic of the moment allow me to demonstrate how the system will be applied.

Immediately the Met Office confirm a sub zero temperature, we swap the minus indicator to a positive. Thus a met office reading of minus five is in fact plus five, which makes the riding environment far more attractive. As the met office reading climes above zero, on Sundays only we will add in the wind warm factor by adding a one before the actual met office reading. This will only apply up to a met reading of nine degrees, as anymore would result in us literally boiling.

Anyone who lives in our area will know that the standard grading of hills shown on cycle maps from category 1-5 is insufficient, we will therefore implement a 1-10 scale with 1 being downhill, 5 walking out the house, and 10 being any route devised by Dave Howe. This calibration will have no impact on our rides but will enable you to boast to your friends, who are not in our club, that your route consisted of 90% category 5 hills.

Recalibrating time is proving to be more difficult than expected. Initially I intended to use a reverse clock. This would mean that having left the Rose and Crown at 10.00 am we would cycle for around two and half hours, and then return for a finish time of 7.30 am. This is a great advantage if you have a day packed with lots of jobs as the extra time will be invaluable. Of course if your expecting refreshment at the pub that’s going to be a problem.

Now to an entirely different matter, rules. “What rules?” I hear you ask, “I’ve never seen those written down anywhere”. Well writing them down would mean that everybody knows what they are, and frankly we can’t have such a straightforward system. No we shall continue to make them up, and only advise when they are broken. Over the last week we have seen our overtaking rule broken on at least two occasions, when members of our club were seen to pass non members on a road just outside Chesham. This is totally unacceptable, and whilst on this occasion it will allow pass unpunished, any future digressions will mean that the individuals will banned from riding from Monday to Friday. We must at all costs not allow anyone to think we are a racing club, or to give the impression that we are hell bent on achieving the fastest possible time. You know who you are and you have been warned.

Now to this weeks rides.

Long Route

Short Route

If the weather is particularly severe, bring your hybrid and off-roaders for an alternative route to be made up as we go along.