Vinghoe Velo Calibration System.

Some of you may have noticed how over the last week or so the weather has changed. If you have not ventured out then your newspaper will have informed you of little else. Those of a Daily Mail persuasion will have welcomed the break from abusing immigrants and the campaign to hang our fellow Europeans over the colour of bananas or some other obscure regulations. The rest of us will have trudged our way through snow and ice to work and schools.


This cold weather is enjoyable for many, but we should not forget our older colleagues who will be struggling to attach their three bar electric fire to their handlebars and wondering where their going to find a long enough extension lead to plug into. Of course as the temperature drops below a predetermined level those friendly chaps at the treasury dip into their pockets and authorise a little bit more cash to help those hard pressed with their heating bills.


So what do the Vinghoe Velos do? Well unusually the title to this week’s news gives a clue. As the government introduces the additional payments we switch to the Vinghoe Velos calibration system. As temperature seems to be the hot topic of the moment allow me to demonstrate how the system will be applied.


Immediately the Met Office confirm a sub zero temperature, we swap the minus indicator to a positive. Thus a met office reading of minus five is in fact plus five, which makes the riding environment far more attractive. As the met office reading climes above zero, on Sundays only we will add in the wind warm factor by adding a one before the actual met office reading. This will only apply up to a met reading of nine degrees, as anymore would result in us literally boiling.


Anyone who lives in our area will know that the standard grading of hills shown on cycle maps from category 1-5 is insufficient, we will therefore implement a 1-10 scale with 1 being downhill, 5 walking out the house, and 10 being any route devised by Dave Howe. This calibration will have no impact on our rides but will enable you to boast to your friends, who are not in our club, that your route consisted of 90% category 5 hills.


Recalibrating time is proving to be more difficult than expected. Initially I intended to use a reverse clock. This would mean that having left the Rose and Crown at 10.00 am we would cycle for around two and half hours, and then return for a finish time of 7.30 am. This is a great advantage if you have a day packed with lots of jobs as the extra time will be invaluable. Of course if your expecting refreshment at the pub that’s going to be a problem.


Now to an entirely different matter, rules. “What rules?” I hear you ask, “I’ve never seen those written down anywhere”. Well writing them down would mean that everybody knows what they are, and frankly we can’t have such a straightforward system. No we shall continue to make them up, and only advise when they are broken. Over the last week we have seen our overtaking rule broken on at least two occasions, when members of our club were seen to pass non members on a road just outside Chesham. This is totally unacceptable, and whilst on this occasion it will allow pass unpunished, any future digressions will mean that the individuals will banned from riding from Monday to Friday. We must at all costs not allow anyone to think we are a racing club, or to give the impression that we are hell bent on achieving the fastest possible time. You know who you are and you have been warned.


Now to this weeks rides.


Long Route


Short Route


If the weather is particularly severe, bring your hybrid and off-roaders for an alternative route to be made up as we go along.